Guess what guys, I am growing up!
(haha..whatever...I know you are all laughing at me now but oh well)
BUT no really I am trying to be more like the person I always say I want to be someday. SOMEDAY is going to be TODAY because TOMORROW never comes!!!
Why is it that I can spend hours on end with my friends and yet I struggle to spend a half hour or even five minutes with God? Somehow the tangibilty makes it so much easier for my simple human brain to grasp. Love isn't eye contract, spoken words, or the power to embrace to comfort with touch. God is Love. Why don't I embrace his Word or seek Him? I just seem so far away. Sometimes I am so terrified as God. I am scared of having to change and accept that it isn't all about what Andrea wants. Apparently what Andrea wants or thinks she wants doesn't work. It never does. I simply can't satisfy myself.
(To Satify--To gratify the need, desire, or expectation of.)
I can't count on other people to bring me to God. I have to do it on the own. The training wheels have got to go. At some point you have to mature in your relationship with God. Relationships are met to grow, to mature, to deepen over the years. Most people aren't close friends with people for multiple years without becoming more knowledgable about them. I want to really know God. I really do.
And I am never going to be completely happy with my friends, family, job and any boy unless I have that close relationship with God because quite frankly they are going to let me down. And if I am trying to full that God hole with them..it just isn't going to work and I am going to expect a perfection that is not feasible.
The last week I don't know how many times the four letter W-A-I-T has been thrown in my face or brought to my attention in some way. I need to learn to wait for God. Patience is truely a virtue..one I seem to sometimes lack. Did you ever think that maybe you are too busy doing your own thing that you don't even give God a chance to answer your prayers.
Grr...my bible that I like so much is in my car but my grandma's old red bible is just as cool. (wow..I am strange) "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord"--Psalms 27:14
Also I made a budget and cleaned out my car. Wow..aren't we all shocked? Is this really the same girl? (mmm...I wonder)
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